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Old joke (it made me giggle)


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#1961 ricardo de ponsa

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Posted 23 July 2019 - 08:43 PM

What's pink and hard first thing in the morning ?

 

The Financial Times Crossword.

 

What's pink and wrinkly and hangs out your trousers ?

 

Your mum on washing day.


Stop and smell the flowers, while you can !!!!!


#1962 ricardo de ponsa

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Posted 27 July 2019 - 08:53 PM

I was really annoyed the other day when the staff at the Odeon Cinema said that they wouldn't accept a £50 note when I was paying for my 'Pick-N-Mix'.

 

In the end I had to pay with two twenties and a ten !!!!!!


Stop and smell the flowers, while you can !!!!!


#1963 bri365

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Posted 17 August 2019 - 06:24 AM

Over the last two years I have been developing a gel, that when rubbed on a woman's vagina, makes her pussy taste like beer. Today the government denied my request for a licence to sell the gel because they feared it may lead to excessive minge drinking.


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#1964 bri365

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Posted 18 August 2019 - 08:51 PM

I got thrown out of McDonalds this morning. The girl serving me was an absolute stunner and she told me she could make it large for 30p. I replied that she already had, but could she finish me off for a pound!


Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms... ...knock knock, Who's there, Not Sally that's for sure.


Come here to post jokes, oh and to play the occasional frutie.


#1965 bri365

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Posted 19 August 2019 - 10:18 PM

I saw a great Indian porn film last night... Miss Singh In Action!

 

There are 27 bones in the human hand... And 28 when I'm lonely!

 

It's Jamaican hairstyle day at work tomorrow... I'm already dreading it!


Come here to post jokes, oh and to play the occasional frutie.


#1966 bri365

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Posted 25 August 2019 - 08:58 AM

I've been having real problems with nuisance phone calls lately. The most common one seems to be: "You said you'd be home from the pub three f*****g hours ago!"


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#1967 bri365

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Posted 25 August 2019 - 08:05 PM

My boss was supposed to deliver a training course on Innuendo's in the workplace after so many staff members complained about me... Unfortunately she wasn't well and couldn't attend, so I had to fill her slot instead!


Come here to post jokes, oh and to play the occasional frutie.


#1968 cashbox1

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Posted 26 August 2019 - 07:49 PM

ive just written a hit west end musical,its about 2 women in an unhappy relationship... im calling it Miserable Les  :D


Einstein`s theory of FME 90 downloads = 3 thanks


#1969 barcrest junky

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Posted 27 August 2019 - 05:23 AM

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms... ...knock knock, Who's there, Not Sally that's for sure.


Reminds me of strawberries.

#1970 ricardo de ponsa

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Posted 05 September 2019 - 07:23 PM

My dog ate a whole box of Scrabble tiles the other day.

 

The vet said he would be alright, but to keep an eye on his vowel movements.


Stop and smell the flowers, while you can !!!!!





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