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Old joke (it made me giggle)


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#1841 cashbox1

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Posted 19 September 2018 - 11:46 pm

what do you call a Mexican pervert ? Juan Concam :D


heavy.......


#1842 bri365

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Posted 20 September 2018 - 06:10 pm

A man was arrested yesterday after falling into a combine harvester whilst trying to steal it! He's due to be bailed tomorrow!


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#1843 stardust

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Posted 22 September 2018 - 01:54 pm

Who'd have thought it... 😉

Attached File  FB_IMG_15376258471919909.jpg   514.71KB   0 downloads

Welcome to the world

 of Daryl... ;)

 

My Facebook <-- because I'm always there...                                                                                                                                                         My website <-- take a ganders! :D

 

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

...and now - the revamped and updated:

 

Fruit-Emu on Facebook

 

Exactly how I meant the page to be when I created it all those years ago...

with thanks to Alex (aaamusements).

 

 

  • Updated with all the latest that is happening here at Fruit Emu; 
  • Encouraging new members to join up and take part in the fun here at the Fruit-Emu forums;
  • Any problems? Give a shout to us - we'll try and answer you as soon as possible or direct you to Fruit-Emu forums help...

 

Pop over if you have a Facebook account...

and support us there on our community page!


#1844 ricardo de ponsa

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Posted 22 September 2018 - 08:43 pm

Young man, there's a place you can go

I said young man, when you're short on your dough

You can stay there and I'm sure you will find

Many ways to have a good time

 

It's fun to stay at the YMCA

It's fun to stay at the YMCA

 

They have everything for you men to enjoy

You can hang out with all the boys

 

It's fun to stay at the YMCA

It's fun to stay at the YMCA


If there's something strange in the neighbourhood, who you gonna call ?????   The Council !!!!!!!!


#1845 bri365

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Posted 25 September 2018 - 01:38 pm

Found out my Nan use to be a furniture restorer, Well her report from the old peoples home states that she stains chairs............


Come here to post jokes, oh and to play the occasional frutie.


#1846 bri365

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Posted 26 September 2018 - 11:14 pm

Last night after a few beers my mate asked if he could stay on my sofa I had to explain to him that I'm married now so that's where I sleep.


Come here to post jokes, oh and to play the occasional frutie.


#1847 bri365

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Posted 27 September 2018 - 10:45 am

I was on a plane recently and the stewardess said that in the event of an accident i had to stick my head between my legs. I couldn't help thinking, 'if i could do that i wouldn't be flying to Thailand in the first place.'


Come here to post jokes, oh and to play the occasional frutie.


#1848 bri365

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Posted 27 September 2018 - 02:13 pm

Police looking for a man who stabbed six people with knitting needles. He seems to be following some sort of pattern.


Come here to post jokes, oh and to play the occasional frutie.


#1849 bri365

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Posted 27 September 2018 - 02:50 pm

A good romance starts with a foundation of trust and friendship.

A bad romance starts with a rah rah rah-ah-ah, roma roma-ma gaga ooh la la.


Come here to post jokes, oh and to play the occasional frutie.


#1850 bri365

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Posted 27 September 2018 - 08:33 pm

Q: What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
A: Hailing taxis.


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#1851 cashbox1

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Posted 03 October 2018 - 05:27 am

here`s to the cut that never heals

the longer you stroke it,the better it feels,

you can wash it in soap,you can wash it in soda,

but you`ll never get rid of the fish market odour ;)


heavy.......


#1852 stardust

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Posted 03 October 2018 - 04:01 pm

The new national emergency broadcasting system comes into operation next year...

It's going to be called the Network United Kingdom Emergency System.

Hardly reassuring when a national emergency warning pops up on your TV, device or Internet with the initials...

*** NUKES *** :)

Welcome to the world

 of Daryl... ;)

 

My Facebook <-- because I'm always there...                                                                                                                                                         My website <-- take a ganders! :D

 

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

...and now - the revamped and updated:

 

Fruit-Emu on Facebook

 

Exactly how I meant the page to be when I created it all those years ago...

with thanks to Alex (aaamusements).

 

 

  • Updated with all the latest that is happening here at Fruit Emu; 
  • Encouraging new members to join up and take part in the fun here at the Fruit-Emu forums;
  • Any problems? Give a shout to us - we'll try and answer you as soon as possible or direct you to Fruit-Emu forums help...

 

Pop over if you have a Facebook account...

and support us there on our community page!


#1853 bri365

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Posted 07 October 2018 - 10:18 pm

Police are looking for a mugger who threatens his victims with a lit match. They need to catch him before he strikes again.


Come here to post jokes, oh and to play the occasional frutie.


#1854 hitthesix

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Posted 08 October 2018 - 02:49 pm

My wife has left me because of my compulsive  gambling 

 

 

"i would do anything to win her back"



#1855 bri365

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Posted 08 October 2018 - 09:04 pm

My wife said she is leaving me because of my obsession with astronomy!.................What planet is she on.


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#1856 hitthesix

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Posted 09 October 2018 - 05:55 pm

A guy is standing on the bathroom scales desperately sucking in his stomach.
“That’s not going to help,” says his wife.

 

 

“Yes, it will,” replies the man. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers!”

 

 

Alcohol doesn’t make you FAT
It makes you LEAN… 

 

 

 

 

against tables, chairs, floors, walls and ugly people!



#1857 bri365

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Posted 10 October 2018 - 08:15 am

My wife is furious at me for throwing a snowball at my son. On top of it, I’m also banned from the maternity ward.


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#1858 bri365

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Posted 11 October 2018 - 06:38 am

Went to see my mate last night and to see his new baby. He asked me if I wanted to wind him! bit harsh I thought, so I gave him a dead leg instead.


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#1859 bri365

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Posted 11 October 2018 - 09:12 am

I phoned my boss "I'm on the train heading to the south coast now." "What..?" he answered, sounding a bit annoyed. "It's five o'clock in the f*****g morning! What are you doing on a train?" "You tell me," I replied. "You're the one who wanted me in Brighton early this morning."


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#1860 bri365

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Posted 11 October 2018 - 09:05 pm

My nickname for my wife is "hungry clock"...............She always goes back four seconds!!!!!!!!!!!


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