52 replies to this topic

[pilky]

hahahahhaha nice cash

[fruitman69]

Heres an old one now that was going around when I was at school, I didnt write it but for those of you thats never read it its quite good.

You've heard the tale of Robin Hood,
and how he did poor people good.
But there's more to this famous story,
of Sherwood forests pride and glory.

At night when all the robbing was done,
the merry men would have some fun.
In fact it would be fair to say,
the merry men were rather GAY.

As little John starts to unwind,
Robin takes it him behind,
then as they frolic in the grass,
it Robin's turn to take it up the ass.

One day when they were all at play,
cute maid Marian came their way.
She walked up to Friar Tuck
and asked "do you wanna" f***.?

Little John couldn't believe his ears,
she 's offering sex to us queers.
As he recovers from the shock,
He presents her with his cock.

For Marian this was sheer bliss,
as he fullfilled her every wish.
When all was done she gave a whine.
Thanks boys for a lovely time.

But for this pleasure,
you must all pay.
Cuz I've got the pox,
have a nice day!

Now listen here says Friar Tuck,
we don't even give a f***.
the laughs on you, you silly cow.
We've all got AID's whose f***ed now?

Edited by fruitman69, 21 July 2012 - 10:26 AM.

[pilky]

hahahaa class fruitman ..lmao...

[fruitman69]

Talking of school, I wrote this a few years after school for my girl friend ( the one ) back in 1989,

However the person I wrote it for sadly died in June 1990 in a hit and run, and I have never talked about it in public,
and dont want to,
but just recently I have finally come to terms with what happened and 22 years on I think she would have liked people to be able to read it,
as a tribute of my love for her......


Sam, with just one look at you,
I’m hypnotized,
Like a rabbit in headlights I’m paralysed,
I can’t explain why.

Just one touch from you drives me insane,
You’ve got me head over heels,
And I love how it feels,
After all we did meet in a place full of reels!

Something happens when you’re next to me,
I swear it’s true,
I’ve never loved anyone, more than I love you,
and I will be getting to prove it in 1992!

You got me out of control,
From my head to my toes,
You are my one, You are my valentine,
Every month of the year.

I’m so happy when I’m with you,
I’m so happy when you’re here,
My love’s going to last forever,
Am I making myself clear?


RIP 1970 - 1990

[cashbox1]

some deep and meaningful words there FM

[dachshund]

all bloody good efforts by the way guys. from now on lets keep em fruitemu based eh lol

[cashbox1]

there was a young man called daschund
for playing the fruits he was passioned
on a night on the town,he burned shipleys down
so now his gambling is rationed

[ady]

lol @ CB

[pilky]

mmeeeooowwww claws in wolverine .. and we say women are bitchy hahahahaha

[cashbox1]

a manky old tart called durber
proclaimed that no man could curb `er
but a man from khartoum
knocked the top off her womb
with his 10 inch long kidney disturber

[corel]

Day off work and its pay day
so i shoot into shipleys for something to play

Straight to the CHANGE machine, dig out a fiver
but the note wont accept and causes me myther

Along comes a girl dressed in a red gown
and snatches my fiver with a harsh frown

she does this simple little magic trick
and the machine accepts it in a fingers click

five shiney pound coins are now in hand
ready to feed into that party time land

i drag a comfy chair across the clean floor
and sit down in front of player no 4

along comes that girl and offers a brew
yeh i'll have coffee with a sugar or two

the fat bloke behind me says 'ello my good mate'
'that machine your now sat at has just lost some weight'

So i quickly switch seats to player no. 3
i then take a sip of my cheap cup o' tea

along comes a dirty, scruffy old bint
her pockets lined with bullion bar mint

she sits down at player no. 1
and whacks in the pounds, now she has none

so i insert my first pound and ready to play
credits count up on the little display

before i know it, i have to dash
back to the cashpoint to withdraw some cash

now 50 quid later, still not a nudge
yes 50 quid gone now its time to budge

The oldie on one now moves onto three
and inserts a pound and looks over at me

Well well well, what can i say
three shiny red 'X''s just came right in her way

Shes bashing and banging she just wont stop
and before she knows it, shes up on the top

Typical old bag, she lets it time out
first spin is £2, that better than nout

Why why why, is that old bag alive?
shes timed out again and its paid twenty five

im stood at the door just watching her win
wish i could go and wipe off that grin

shes bashed it so hard and broke it again
her left hand is up, she wants to complain

still on the top, still shes still going strong
with them jackpot balloons echoing "bonnnggggg"

so this is a tale of the arcade blues
that horrible feeling is you will always lose

[vectra666]

I love that partytime poem better than mine

[cashbox1]

there was an old man from kent
who`s d**k was exceedingly bent
to save himself trouble,
he put it in double
but instead of coming,he went

[cashbox1]

lol RDP just for you heres another one mate

there was a young man called dave
who kept a dead whore in a cave
it must have took pluck
to have such a cold f**k
but just think of the money he saved

[vectra666]

Faultless M8. Absolutely perfect. Subject matter a bit dodgy, but another classic from the Cashbox1 stable. Brilliant

Dr Ricardo De Ponsa Msc Eng. D.I.Y. B&Q M.D.F.

and F.O.S Lol

[cashbox1]

there was a young lady from keele
on her arse was tattooed a wheel
but when she bent over
you saw a land rover
and all the lads wanted a feel

[corel]

there was a man called dave ducket
whos dick was so long he could suck it
he said with a grin, wiping cum off his chin
if my ear was a fanny id fcuk it

[cashbox1]

a wily old geezer called crockett
went to space in his own home made rocket
the rocket went bang
his balls went clang
and they found his nob in his pocket