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Old joke (it made me giggle)


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#2101 raverpat

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Posted 21 October 2020 - 01:05 PM

I got stung by nettles yesterday.

He charged me £50 for a Bergerac dvd.


Let's smash Partytime.

#2102 bri365

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Posted 11 November 2020 - 04:00 PM

If anybody wants a copy of Osteopath Weekly................. I have back issues.


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#2103 Simon Sevens

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Posted 16 November 2020 - 11:48 AM

An old one but I like it.

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#2104 bri365

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Posted 18 November 2020 - 09:27 PM

We were so poor when I was younger I once had a birthday party at the local launderette because it was bright and warm... The highlight was pass the Persil!


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#2105 ricardo de ponsa

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Posted 19 November 2020 - 09:01 PM

We were so poor when I was younger, I thought knives and forks were jewellery.

 

I wanted an electric train set for Christmas. All I got was a platform ticket and a piece of fuse wire !!!


Don't come round and steal my Cheerios !!!!


#2106 bri365

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Posted 20 November 2020 - 10:52 AM

Got my new Smirnoff 'Oscar Pistorious' advent calendar today... There's a shot behind every door!


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#2107 bri365

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Posted 23 November 2020 - 09:35 PM

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#2108 bri365

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Posted 05 December 2020 - 12:09 PM

They've worked out why Santa has a red sack..................He keeps scratching it.


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#2109 bri365

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Posted 11 December 2020 - 06:10 PM

I used to sit next to Noddy Holder at school. The teacher was always catching him eating snacks. One day she snapped and shouted, "What are you eating now?" Noddy replied, "IT'S CRISPS MISSSSSS!".............................I'll get me coat.


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#2110 bri365

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Posted 16 December 2020 - 08:27 PM

My partner was rushed into hospital this morning. As the trolley crashed through the ED doors, a doctor said: "BP is 127." "This isn't the time to be discussing petrol prices." I shouted.


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#2111 bri365

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Posted 11 January 2021 - 02:43 PM

If anyone knows any good fruit machine jokes, give me a nudge!


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#2112 bri365

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Posted 12 January 2021 - 10:42 PM

I’m not saying we were poor when I was young, but when we went to KFC we had to lick other peoples fingers!


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#2113 bri365

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Posted 13 January 2021 - 03:23 PM

My mate once said, "The first car you drive is as memorable as your first kiss."

It's true. I still remember mine, an old banger with bits hanging off and an embarrassment to be seen with ...

For the life of me I can't remember what the car was though!


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#2114 bri365

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Posted 14 January 2021 - 09:55 PM

I couldn't remember the name of the fizzy sweets I liked as a kid so I've signed up for a refreshers course.


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#2115 bri365

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Posted 16 January 2021 - 12:53 PM

Stocks of the first vaccine for corona virus are running dangerously low. The Pfizer Chiefs say they predict a riot.


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#2116 bri365

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Posted 22 January 2021 - 05:51 PM

Fact of the day..........America has had two presidents since Liverpool won a game.


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#2117 bri365

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Posted 25 January 2021 - 07:12 PM

"I hear you split up with your wife." "I did. Would you stay with someone who sat about in their bra and pants all day, drinking Gin and watching Loose Woman?" "I sure wouldn't." "Well, neither would she."


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