36 replies to this topic

[wayne123]

Hiya Guys

OK, as said before not good at posting posts but need your advice, may give you too much info, but what the hell!

Here Goes

Anyway we are a gay couple, a year ago we helped our neighbour by almost adopting their grandson, whilst he was was with us, he started to resepect himself and other people, (at the time he was really off the rails!).

After 6 months he is now back with his mom, and decided to join the army, (he turns 16 in a few months!),

After a chat with him, it turns out that he wants to go to the army just to escape from his mom!, we have told him that that is not the right choice, and have offered him the chance to live with us when he turns 16.

So he can go to college and at least reflect what he wants in life!, at the moment he is living in a 1 bedroom flat with his mom and partner and basically is so, so unhappy. We can offer his own room and privicy that evey teenager needs!

Our other offical foster son ran away because our rules were too strict (he was 17) - 1) he needed to get a job or college, 2) he could not smoke dope, after he smashed our house up, 3) basically no dope!!

My question is 2 fold.

Do you think we have made the right choice (we know that this is a really long comitment), i.e. college courses last for years,

Do you think that gay people can make good parents?,

[kriss]

Nothing against you at all, but do you think this is the correct site to be posting about what your talking about?

[DaemonX]

TBH what kind of response are you expecting? you will either get it's ok, or gay is wrong.

IMO it's the person not the sexual preference, age, race or religion that makes a person a good parent.

[duplu]

Do you think we have made the right choice (we know that this is a really long comitment), i.e. college courses last for years.

It's a huge commitment both emotionally and financially. The lad obviously trusts you both if he lived with you for 6 months before but there's always the chance it could go down the same route as your foster son if you pressure him into college. I'm glad neither of my children are teenagers yet, it's a difficult time for all involved.

Do you think that gay people can make good parents?,

I think anyone can make excellent parents and their sexual preferences have little or nothing to do with this. There are plenty of heterosexual parents who are absolutely rubbish at parenting.

Good luck with this and for the record your rules weren't at all harsh, quite reasonable really.

[todd1970]

I think anyone can make excellent parents and their sexual preferences have little or nothing to do with this. There are plenty of heterosexual parents who are absolutely rubbish at parenting.

Good luck with this and for the record your rules weren't at all harsh, quite reasonable really.

Exactly..sexual prefrence has nothing to do with it.

A loving stable relationship is what is needed to bring up a wean properly.

Unfortunatley we live in a society that still have thier 'hang ups' about gay relationships.

Good luck in whatever you decide to do.

[stuart4000]

Hiya Guys

My question is 2 fold.

Do you think we have made the right choice (we know that this is a really long comitment), i.e. college courses last for years,

Do you think that gay people can make good parents?,

In answer to your 2nd question - No.

In answer to your 1st question, given my answer to your 2nd question - No.

[duplu]

In answer to your 2nd question - No.

In answer to your 1st question, given my answer to your 2nd question - No.

Any reasoning behind your bigoted answers?

[Dr DX]

Exactly..sexual prefrence has nothing to do with it.

A loving stable relationship is what is needed to bring up a wean properly.

Unfortunatley we live in a society that still have thier 'hang ups' about gay relationships.

Good luck in whatever you decide to do.

Unfortunatly our very own toodles has been a victim of this

[stuart4000]

Any reasoning behind your bigoted answers?

Firstly I take offence to being called a bigot. A bigot is incapable of reasoning, and believes their own opinion to be the only acceptable one - how can you feasibly deduce this from my response to the two questions above? Do you see any homophobic rantings?

I believe that a child should be brought up in a home with a male and female parent. Now before everyone throws back in my face "what about single parent families?" and "it's not always possible", "what if one parent dies?", I understand and fully accept this, life isn't prefect, not every family has mum, dad, 2.4 children.

From a fostering point of view, my gut feeling is that gay couples cannot provide the same parental balance that a hetrosexual couple can. I accept that a gay couple would have to go under the same microscope/pass the same tests/meet similar that any couple wishing to foster a child would, but from a natural point of view (i.e. it takes a woman and a man to create a child in the first instance) point of view, I don't agree with it.

Call me old fashioned, call me incorrect, but don't call me a bigot.

[todd1970]

Firstly I take offence to being called a bigot. A bigot is incapable of reasoning, and believes their own opinion to be the only acceptable one - how can you feasibly deduce this from my response to the two questions above? Do you see any homophobic rantings?

I believe that a child should be brought up in a home with a male and female parent. Now before everyone throws back in my face "what about single parent families?" and "it's not always possible", "what if one parent dies?", I understand and fully accept this, life isn't prefect, not every family has mum, dad, 2.4 children.

From a fostering point of view, my gut feeling is that gay couples cannot provide the same parental balance that a hetrosexual couple can. I accept that a gay couple would have to go under the same microscope/pass the same tests/meet similar that any couple wishing to foster a child would, but from a natural point of view (i.e. it takes a woman and a man to create a child in the first instance) point of view, I don't agree with it.

Call me old fashioned, call me incorrect, but don't call me a bigot.

Good points there..spose we could sit and debate/argue about this till the cows come home.

Everyones gonna have a different viewpoint on it.

[duplu]

Firstly I take offence to being called a bigot. A bigot is incapable of reasoning, and believes their own opinion to be the only acceptable one - how can you feasibly deduce this from my response to the two questions above? Do you see any homophobic rantings?

I believe that a child should be brought up in a home with a male and female parent. Now before everyone throws back in my face "what about single parent families?" and "it's not always possible", "what if one parent dies?", I understand and fully accept this, life isn't prefect, not every family has mum, dad, 2.4 children.

From a fostering point of view, my gut feeling is that gay couples cannot provide the same parental balance that a hetrosexual couple can. I accept that a gay couple would have to go under the same microscope/pass the same tests/meet similar that any couple wishing to foster a child would, but from a natural point of view (i.e. it takes a woman and a man to create a child in the first instance) point of view, I don't agree with it.

Call me old fashioned, call me incorrect, but don't call me a bigot.

I apologise then, I wasn't going to put the word in to my reply but your reply hit a nerve as my younger brother is gay and he would make an excellent parent having seen him with my two children.

[Bencrest]

As much as I'd like to post a serious reply to the original poster in this thread, I'm not keen on the way the question is asked.

Do you think that gay people can make good parents?

That's the sort of question that is typically asked purely to provoke argument and debate. There is just something wrong with the way you've asked the question which means I'll not be offering any advice or opinion.

I do feel you might be better off asking advice from people who have more experience in this area?

[Jimmy_mac]

only thing i am curious of is adopting a child of that age? Is an adoption really necessary once the child is in his mid to late teens, they are not far off having all the rights they need to do what they want without parental consent anyway so it seems a little un needed to me.On the topic of Same sex adoptions though, i'm all for it, I have plenty of friends who are gay or lesbian and they would make wonderful parents.

[stanmarsh14]

You have a PM, with a few words of advice, and a useful link to a forum I use.

Hiya Guys

OK, as said before not good at posting posts but need your advice, may give you too much info, but what the hell!

Here Goes

Anyway we are a gay couple, a year ago we helped our neighbour by almost adopting their grandson, whilst he was was with us, he started to resepect himself and other people, (at the time he was really off the rails!).

After 6 months he is now back with his mom, and decided to join the army, (he turns 16 in a few months!),

After a chat with him, it turns out that he wants to go to the army just to escape from his mom!, we have told him that that is not the right choice, and have offered him the chance to live with us when he turns 16.

So he can go to college and at least reflect what he wants in life!, at the moment he is living in a 1 bedroom flat with his mom and partner and basically is so, so unhappy. We can offer his own room and privicy that evey teenager needs!

Our other offical foster son ran away because our rules were too strict (he was 17) - 1) he needed to get a job or college, 2) he could not smoke dope, after he smashed our house up, 3) basically no dope!!

My question is 2 fold.

Do you think we have made the right choice (we know that this is a really long comitment), i.e. college courses last for years,

Do you think that gay people can make good parents?,

[stanmarsh14]

I have never seen such BIGIOTED ANTI-GAY crap in all of my life like this, who basically think God's way is the ONLY way.

I will tell YOU why I feel you are wrong....

Life long friend of mine John, and his partner Jason.

Jason has got a 7 year old kid from a previous marriage, yet both John and Jason bring that kid up as both their own. John was made redundant from Network Rail in Long Eaton, but fortunately another post was available in York, and as it was an area both John and Jason have always wanted to move to, they did just that.

The kid is absolutely happy, with no ill effects, and two guys who worship the earth he walks on. Granted he's had the odd anti-gay remarks thrown at him in school, but they have been promptly dealt with, and generally he's well. Also, the kid still keeps in contact with his mum, whom ironically rents a house of John's parents, and she's absolutely happy for them all.

Now, if that is not a great advert to gay / bi parents going into fostering, then I do not know what is.

To cap things off, some may ask myself.... are you strait / gay / bi..... I'm strait, but have been brought up around many gays and bi's most of my life, due to Mum being in and out of mental health establishments for a number of years, and I have never met such warm, loving, true people, and I have the greatest respect for them.

Firstly I take offence to being called a bigot. A bigot is incapable of reasoning, and believes their own opinion to be the only acceptable one - how can you feasibly deduce this from my response to the two questions above? Do you see any homophobic rantings?

I believe that a child should be brought up in a home with a male and female parent. Now before everyone throws back in my face "what about single parent families?" and "it's not always possible", "what if one parent dies?", I understand and fully accept this, life isn't prefect, not every family has mum, dad, 2.4 children.

From a fostering point of view, my gut feeling is that gay couples cannot provide the same parental balance that a hetrosexual couple can. I accept that a gay couple would have to go under the same microscope/pass the same tests/meet similar that any couple wishing to foster a child would, but from a natural point of view (i.e. it takes a woman and a man to create a child in the first instance) point of view, I don't agree with it.

Call me old fashioned, call me incorrect, but don't call me a bigot.

Edited by stanmarsh14, 14 May 2009 - 12:50 PM.

[wayne123]

thanks for all your replies

i asked this forum, as i thought i would get natural response, i.e not being byest (sorry can't spell it), anyhow didn't mean to create an arugment, so maybe this thread should be closed

[skabaz]

doesn't matter if you are gay,black white ,muslim or catholic,as long as the child is loved and treated the correct way it should be fine.

there are loads of unfit parents out there who literally get away with murder with their children and authorities wont take the kids into care.

anyone who wants to adopt for all the right reasons has my support.

baz

[Dr DX]

doesn't matter if you are gay,black white ,muslim or catholic,as long as the child is loved and treated the correct way it should be fine.

there are loads of unfit parents out there who literally get away with murder with their children and authorities wont take the kids into care.

anyone who wants to adopt for all the right reasons has my support.

baz

Oi you bigot what about us Protestants?























































































JK lol

[ady]

thanks for all your replies

i asked this forum, as i thought i would get natural response, i.e not being byest (sorry can't spell it), anyhow didn't mean to create an arugment, so maybe this thread should be closed

Closed, no Wayne why should it?

There was a question asked, of course there will be replies of all variations....Personally I think its a good thing to see all angles.

My only input is, this is 2009..so what!...that fact its 2009 makes no difference what-so-ever.

I grew up in a family with Mum, Dad, Brothers and sisters....all are straight...but I had an Aunt, we lost her 2 years ago..................when I was a kid I loved staying over, and the fact Auntie (real Aunt) Lil had at home Auntie Peg, they made me so happy, I knew no different--why should it to be honest.....I was innocent and NOTHING was 'in my face'.

Auntie Lil was 85, when she was young can you imagine the stigma involved then!

Staying there did me no harm whatsoever........in fact thats One many happy childhood memories I remember. ok so I didn't live there but was there as often as I could....mabey it was beacause they lived in the City which at the age I was appeared like I was abroard and it was a nice homely environment--remember it WAS taboo then.

Now it really IS 2009 and I think we should be more interested in real issues in life........not just worry because a child is raised by Two gay people......I know gays that do this, mabey 3-4 couples and NO the kids arn't 'lead on'.......mabey the only thing they do learn is not to be so bloody narrow minded!