North Korean scientists have successfully mated a cat with a dog giving birth to the countries first ever combo meal....
stanmarsh14's Content
There have been 838 items by stanmarsh14 (Search limited from 01-May 14)
By content type
See this member's
#307107 Old joke (it made me giggle)
Posted by
on 05 August 2017 - 09:29 AM
in
Any Topic Chat
#309490 Old joke (it made me giggle)
Posted by
on 08 October 2017 - 01:21 PM
in
Any Topic Chat
Me and the missus have just adopted a little scouse baby.
I said "Can we call him "Google"?
She replied "Why the f*** should we call him that"?
"Well" I said, "He's going to spend most of his life getting searched"
#306894 Old joke (it made me giggle)
Posted by
on 31 July 2017 - 03:56 PM
in
Any Topic Chat
The wife, sexually frustrated, asked me, "When was the last time you gave me an orgasm?"
So I said, "This morning."
She cackled with laughter. "Ha! In your dreams!"
"No I said.... In your coffee."!
#306860 Old joke (it made me giggle)
Posted by
on 30 July 2017 - 01:50 PM
in
Any Topic Chat
A really hot deaf girl lives near my house
I often see her walking her dog while I'm out walking mine. Wanting to start a conversation, I started learning sign language.
I tried to learn 'You are beautiful and I'd love to take you out for dinner.' That was hard, so I trained my dog to shag hers and I just pointed.
#302670 Old joke (it made me giggle)
Posted by
on 18 April 2017 - 03:25 PM
in
Any Topic Chat
I was licking out my secretary today when I suddenly stopped and said, "Susan, I can't do this to my wife!"
"Because you love her?" she asked.
I said, "No, because her fanny stinks:"
#314822 Old joke (it made me giggle)
Posted by
on 14 January 2018 - 11:50 AM
in
Any Topic Chat
Last week: Nottingham Forest beat Arsenal.
This week: Nottingham railway station goes up in flames.
Today: Police interview 'ARSON' Wenger.
#314981 Old joke (it made me giggle)
Posted by
on 17 January 2018 - 09:31 PM
in
Any Topic Chat
Skinny little Irish man goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little Irish man staring at him, he looks down and says: '7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 3 pounds of testicles, Turner Brown.'
The little white Irish man faints and falls to the floor.
The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him.. The big guy says, 'What's wrong with you?'
In a weak voice the little guy says, 'What EXACTLY did you say to me?'
The big dude says, 'I saw your curious look and figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me...... I'm 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch penis, my testicles weigh 3 pounds each and my name is Turner Brown.'
The little white Irish man says: 'Turner Brown?! .... Sweet Jesus, I thought you said, 'Turn around!!!!
#319388 Old joke (it made me giggle)
Posted by
on 24 July 2018 - 04:39 PM
in
Any Topic Chat
Roses are red-ish,
violets are blue-ish,
if you don't have a foreskin
you're probably jew-ish
#316677 Old joke (it made me giggle)
Posted by
on 21 March 2018 - 09:30 AM
in
Any Topic Chat
I got a warning message from a group of hackers saying that they are watching me.
Fair play lads if you want to watch a 43 yr old heavily bearded pisshead $&%#ing over a 60 yr old woman with a dildo.
Carry on.Britain still has talent lol x
#315318 Old joke (it made me giggle)
Posted by
on 25 January 2018 - 11:08 AM
in
Any Topic Chat
It has been reported that the Tooth Fairy has collapsed and died of a heart attack after accidentally getting lost and wandering onto the set of the Jeremy Kyle Show
#315304 Old joke (it made me giggle)
Posted by
on 24 January 2018 - 06:48 PM
in
Any Topic Chat
There once was a man from Bombay
Who fashioned a woman's CU Next Tuesday out of clay.
But the heat from his prick
Turned it into a brick.
And he chaffed his foreskin away!
#288635 Old joke (it made me giggle)
Posted by
on 01 June 2016 - 11:23 AM
in
Any Topic Chat
Just got back from the World Strawberry Picking Championships, a woman with no legs won.... jammy c*** 
#288409 Old joke (it made me giggle)
Posted by
on 21 May 2016 - 08:47 PM
in
Any Topic Chat
What does it take to circumcise a Whale?
Four Skin Divers.
#261647 Old joke (it made me giggle)
Posted by
on 09 December 2013 - 12:50 AM
in
Any Topic Chat
What's the difference between a Hockey Player and a Hippy Chick?
Hockey Player takes a shower after 3 periods 
Got a few more here at this link, told by kids
http://www.vice.com/...irty-jokes/gigi
#275846 Old joke (it made me giggle)
Posted by
on 28 November 2014 - 10:53 PM
in
Any Topic Chat
I was driving on the motorway last week when I noticed a sign that said "Turn off - 500 metres".
Sure enough, 500 metres later, on the side of the road was my Granny with no knickers, lifting up her dress.
#260550 Old joke (it made me giggle)
Posted by
on 10 November 2013 - 03:10 PM
in
Any Topic Chat
Remember back in the day when your TV wouldn't work so you'd bang it a few times?
I tried that with my dishwasher and she ended up pregnant.
I tried that with my dishwasher and she ended up pregnant.
#259381 Old joke (it made me giggle)
Posted by
on 14 October 2013 - 12:54 AM
in
Any Topic Chat
Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, eating her bacon and grits, along came a spider and sat down beside her, and said "f*** bitch, show me your tits!".
#256182 Old joke (it made me giggle)
Posted by
on 20 August 2013 - 11:06 PM
in
Any Topic Chat
After having sex with my 77-year-old f*** buddy, I like to make her sleep in the dry patch.
#275847 Old joke (it made me giggle)
Posted by
on 28 November 2014 - 10:58 PM
in
Any Topic Chat
There's nothing more awkward than beating your family on a Wii game that requires the remote to be vigorously jerked back and forth, only for your mother to ask you "Have you been practising?"
#276428 Old joke (it made me giggle)
Posted by
on 11 December 2014 - 04:32 PM
in
Any Topic Chat
I just want to thank the girl who ran with me for the last few miles of the local marathon run yesterday, not wearing a sports bra.
Your lack of support got me through.
#279329 Old joke (it made me giggle)
Posted by
on 28 February 2015 - 07:13 PM
in
Any Topic Chat
What's got no teeth and smells bad......................The gearbox on the wife's car!
#279197 Old joke (it made me giggle)
Posted by
on 24 February 2015 - 10:51 PM
in
Any Topic Chat
(To a heckler).......
Hey, if you want my come-back, scrape it of your mothers teeth 
#277123 Old joke (it made me giggle)
Posted by
on 05 January 2015 - 11:19 PM
in
Any Topic Chat
Watch the signing guy signing that Simon wants to suck carlys tits
http://s233.photobuc...s tits.mp4.html
#276666 Old joke (it made me giggle)
Posted by
on 19 December 2014 - 10:23 PM
in
Any Topic Chat
Let's not be too serious its nearly Christmas.
I've treated myself to a Jehovah Witness advent calender -
it's giving me a lot of pleasure
Every day I open a door and tell it to " f*** Off"
#254208 Old joke (it made me giggle)
Posted by
on 17 July 2013 - 08:51 AM
in
Any Topic Chat
The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation. "He's a funeral director," she answered."Interesting," the newsman thought.
He then asked her if she wouldn't mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living. She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years. After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she had first married a banker when she was in her 20's, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40's, and a preacher when in her 60's, and now - in her 80's - a funeral director.
The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers.
She smiled and explained,
"I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go."
He then asked her if she wouldn't mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living. She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years. After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she had first married a banker when she was in her 20's, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40's, and a preacher when in her 60's, and now - in her 80's - a funeral director.
The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers.
She smiled and explained,
"I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go."
