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Cherish your loved ones, for you never know when they will be gone

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#1 stanmarsh14



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Posted 16 May 2018 - 07:33 AM

Forgive the rather sombre tone folks, but think I best explain myself with regards to my comments on my Screen Play thread (MPU Mecca) and Facebook.

Monday morning, had to rush mum (Dawn) in to the QMC, Nottingham, with a suspect over dose.

Hell of a battle in A&E, moved to ICU, and by 7PM, we (Myself, sister, and other relations) unfortunately lost her.

Mental Health even to this day, is one of the great unknowns, and you ask yourself constantly, what could have I done to prevent this, even as her carer? Truth be told, not a clue.

All I can say as some general advice to all, is don't suffer in silence, talk to people, let the ones you most cherish and trust know you need help, and to those who can help, even a kind word for those in need can help..... sometimes amazing what this kind word can do to a person who's suffering.

At this point in time, I have absolutely no clue how to move on (Been her full-time carer for near on 20 years) or what to do next, but certainly for the next two weeks or so, not going to worry about it, though I am concerned as hell what to do with the cat, much as I love Chorlton to death, I live in a top floor flat, and next to no income for the foreseeable future.


#2 stanmarsh14



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Posted 16 May 2018 - 07:41 AM



#3 TommyC


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Posted 16 May 2018 - 09:06 AM

Like i said over at dads fme real sorry about your loss,and i wish you and your family all the very best. I lost my mam in june 2016 with a short battle with lung cancer,it broke me. Just don't feel like the same person now.
Hold the bells mate.

#4 vectra666


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Posted 16 May 2018 - 11:18 AM

Take care and sorry for your loss, were all here if you need to get anything of your chest.
The more I do today, The less I do tomorrow.
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#5 thecodfather


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Posted 16 May 2018 - 03:56 PM

My most deepest condolences Mark, so sorry for your loss.



#6 simplyred1


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Posted 16 May 2018 - 04:01 PM

So very sorry to hear of your loss

#7 ady


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Posted 16 May 2018 - 04:16 PM

In my thoughts Mark, take care my friend.

#8 nails


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Posted 16 May 2018 - 06:43 PM

Sorry to hear your new. i lost my dad to aggressive cancer last year and fully understand what you say and how you feel.


time is so short ppl, dont waste it.

#9 evo1


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Posted 16 May 2018 - 07:14 PM

Feel sorry for your loss as its never nice to lose anyone. Unfortunately Mental health is on the rise or should i say its always being there but never really talked about. Am a mental health mentor at work as a sideline to my main job and yes it is good to talk to someone about anything no matter how small the issue may be so we can guide you to the right services within the company. But the thing is the older generation seem to look upon mental health the wrong way and think if you a bit that way your going to get locked up in a padded cell or if you tell friends and family your looked upon as been weak and a let down.

This attitude needs to change,it doesn't matter how old/young,color or gender it can affect everyone.We all have problems from time to time and it could be anything from money problems as us gamblers should know about,to something like loss of a job and not knowing what the future holds that sends people into worry etc.

With the stress of life which the human race has created its only going to get worse.


People really do need to talk and not be shamed how big or how small the problem is!


As i said at the beginning am really sorry for your loss but what you don't want to do is bottle it up yourself and go down that path,you have friends and family don't push them aside and try to deal with this yourself talk to each other please,and there always friends on here that would listen to you if need be.


Take care of each other.



#10 aaamusements


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Posted 16 May 2018 - 08:26 PM

Words tend to be inadequate in a situation like this. Thoughts are with you.

#11 letmein


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Posted 16 May 2018 - 08:37 PM

Thoughts are with you  :rose: 




#12 Reg



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Posted 16 May 2018 - 08:45 PM

Thoughts are with you and your family.

Been there done it and seen it too many times, there is still no words and it never gets easier when you read what seems to be regular posts like this too often.

Please try to take care of yourself - reach out the Cats Protection League regarding the cat. If I was in a position to take him from you to give a good home I would, sadly I am not.

Terrible times and again please take care of yourself.

#13 stanmarsh14



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Posted 17 May 2018 - 12:11 AM

Surprising where you can find help in this world.


Posted about my dilemma on the Disabled People Against Cuts (DPAC) page (Facebook), and had a member over in the Grantham area, give me some very useful words of support as well as links, so I can move forward in this mess.

Phillipa Paulette, you are an angel!

Also got mum's shrink phoning me tomorrow, who fortunately is based over at Ilkeston Community Hospital, so if needs must, not too much of a problem to get to.

Big worry, is the DWP, however got 8 weeks continuation from what Phillipa has found out, and a friend with disabilities has contacted me about a poss house share, which will allow him to move out from his mum's, and give him the independence he desires, though this may mean me moving to South / West Yorkshire (Always wanted to move to Sheffield anyway), and I already have a few friends and ex gaffer in that area (Gaffer was here for me when I lost me dad when I was 18).

Also got a friend who works with ICU as an independent legal officer, working on a lot of cases for the Healthcare & Professions Council (HCPC), who basicaly rips apart barristers in the High Courts of London.... or a Professional bastard as he calls himself :D

Edited by stanmarsh14, 17 May 2018 - 12:13 AM.

#14 Bandits


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Posted 17 May 2018 - 05:15 AM

Very sad and sorry for your loss, hope you find peace.

:) Hold Yer Plums Or Go For The Melons :)

#15 brucegeorge


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Posted 17 May 2018 - 08:45 AM

I kinda know how you will be feeling I lost my mum a few years back it was like someone have stopped my life as well I really hope the people around you give you the support you need at a time like this


Respect for opening up



#16 stardust


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Posted 17 May 2018 - 09:00 AM

Love and hugs, as always x

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#17 ruudykins



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Posted 17 May 2018 - 10:02 PM

People often say "life is short" but from experience this really isn't so. 70, 80, 90 odd years is a long time, but life has taught me on so may occasions that life can be taken away so suddenly.


I lost my mum 18 years ago. We didn't get on at all but it really broke me for a while, so i can't imagine what you're going through when you loved and cared for your mum so much and i'm so sorry for what you and your family are going through.


A bit patronising, but have a great big hug from me. x

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