Jump to content

- - - - -

Cherish your loved ones, for you never know when they will be gone

  • Please log in to reply
20 replies to this topic

#1 stanmarsh14



  • Gold Supporters
  • 3,108 posts

Posted 16 May 2018 - 07:33 am

Forgive the rather sombre tone folks, but think I best explain myself with regards to my comments on my Screen Play thread (MPU Mecca) and Facebook.

Monday morning, had to rush mum (Dawn) in to the QMC, Nottingham, with a suspect over dose.

Hell of a battle in A&E, moved to ICU, and by 7PM, we (Myself, sister, and other relations) unfortunately lost her.

Mental Health even to this day, is one of the great unknowns, and you ask yourself constantly, what could have I done to prevent this, even as her carer? Truth be told, not a clue.

All I can say as some general advice to all, is don't suffer in silence, talk to people, let the ones you most cherish and trust know you need help, and to those who can help, even a kind word for those in need can help..... sometimes amazing what this kind word can do to a person who's suffering.

At this point in time, I have absolutely no clue how to move on (Been her full-time carer for near on 20 years) or what to do next, but certainly for the next two weeks or so, not going to worry about it, though I am concerned as hell what to do with the cat, much as I love Chorlton to death, I live in a top floor flat, and next to no income for the foreseeable future.


#2 stanmarsh14



  • Gold Supporters
  • 3,108 posts

Posted 16 May 2018 - 07:41 am



#3 TommyC


    Layout Designer

  • Layout Creator
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 2,644 posts

Posted 16 May 2018 - 09:06 am

Like i said over at dads fme real sorry about your loss,and i wish you and your family all the very best. I lost my mam in june 2016 with a short battle with lung cancer,it broke me. Just don't feel like the same person now.
Hold the bells mate.

#4 vectra666


    No1. Lurker

  • Layout Creator
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 8,529 posts


Posted 16 May 2018 - 11:18 am

Take care and sorry for your loss, were all here if you need to get anything of your chest.
The more I do today, The less I do tomorrow.
Fme is alive and screaming into the 21st century!
Enjoy FME and Happy Gaming!!!!

#5 thecodfather


    Junior Member

  • Gold Supporters
  • 195 posts

Posted 16 May 2018 - 03:56 pm

My most deepest condolences Mark, so sorry for your loss.



#6 simplyred1


    Junior Member

  • Regulars
  • 36 posts

Posted 16 May 2018 - 04:01 pm

So very sorry to hear of your loss

#7 ady


    The furniture

  • Moderators
  • 14,200 posts

Posted 16 May 2018 - 04:16 pm

In my thoughts Mark, take care my friend.

#8 nails


    The furniture

  • Regulars
  • 4,570 posts

Posted 16 May 2018 - 06:43 pm

Sorry to hear your new. i lost my dad to aggressive cancer last year and fully understand what you say and how you feel.


time is so short ppl, dont waste it.

#9 evo1



  • Silver Supporters
  • 524 posts

Posted 16 May 2018 - 07:14 pm

Feel sorry for your loss as its never nice to lose anyone. Unfortunately Mental health is on the rise or should i say its always being there but never really talked about. Am a mental health mentor at work as a sideline to my main job and yes it is good to talk to someone about anything no matter how small the issue may be so we can guide you to the right services within the company. But the thing is the older generation seem to look upon mental health the wrong way and think if you a bit that way your going to get locked up in a padded cell or if you tell friends and family your looked upon as been weak and a let down.

This attitude needs to change,it doesn't matter how old/young,color or gender it can affect everyone.We all have problems from time to time and it could be anything from money problems as us gamblers should know about,to something like loss of a job and not knowing what the future holds that sends people into worry etc.

With the stress of life which the human race has created its only going to get worse.


People really do need to talk and not be shamed how big or how small the problem is!


As i said at the beginning am really sorry for your loss but what you don't want to do is bottle it up yourself and go down that path,you have friends and family don't push them aside and try to deal with this yourself talk to each other please,and there always friends on here that would listen to you if need be.


Take care of each other.



#10 aaamusements


    Grumpy site owner/Admin

  • Administrators
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 3,499 posts

Posted 16 May 2018 - 08:26 pm

Words tend to be inadequate in a situation like this. Thoughts are with you.

#11 letmein


    Advanced Member

  • Regulars
  • 718 posts

Posted 16 May 2018 - 08:37 pm

Thoughts are with you  :rose: 




#12 Reg



  • Layout Creator
  • PipPip
  • 617 posts


Posted 16 May 2018 - 08:45 pm

Thoughts are with you and your family.

Been there done it and seen it too many times, there is still no words and it never gets easier when you read what seems to be regular posts like this too often.

Please try to take care of yourself - reach out the Cats Protection League regarding the cat. If I was in a position to take him from you to give a good home I would, sadly I am not.

Terrible times and again please take care of yourself.

#13 stanmarsh14



  • Gold Supporters
  • 3,108 posts

Posted 17 May 2018 - 12:11 am

Surprising where you can find help in this world.


Posted about my dilemma on the Disabled People Against Cuts (DPAC) page (Facebook), and had a member over in the Grantham area, give me some very useful words of support as well as links, so I can move forward in this mess.

Phillipa Paulette, you are an angel!

Also got mum's shrink phoning me tomorrow, who fortunately is based over at Ilkeston Community Hospital, so if needs must, not too much of a problem to get to.

Big worry, is the DWP, however got 8 weeks continuation from what Phillipa has found out, and a friend with disabilities has contacted me about a poss house share, which will allow him to move out from his mum's, and give him the independence he desires, though this may mean me moving to South / West Yorkshire (Always wanted to move to Sheffield anyway), and I already have a few friends and ex gaffer in that area (Gaffer was here for me when I lost me dad when I was 18).

Also got a friend who works with ICU as an independent legal officer, working on a lot of cases for the Healthcare & Professions Council (HCPC), who basicaly rips apart barristers in the High Courts of London.... or a Professional bastard as he calls himself :D

Edited by stanmarsh14, 17 May 2018 - 12:13 am.

#14 Bandits


    Senior Member

  • Regulars
  • 1,118 posts

Posted 17 May 2018 - 05:15 am

Very sad and sorry for your loss, hope you find peace.

:) Hold Yer Plums Or Go For The Melons :)

#15 brucegeorge


    Layout Disasters

  • Layout Creator
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 1,709 posts

Posted 17 May 2018 - 08:45 am

I kinda know how you will be feeling I lost my mum a few years back it was like someone have stopped my life as well I really hope the people around you give you the support you need at a time like this


Respect for opening up



#16 stardust



  • Regulars
  • 612 posts

Posted 17 May 2018 - 09:00 am

Love and hugs, as always x

#17 ruudykins



  • Gold Supporters
  • 36 posts


Posted 17 May 2018 - 10:02 pm

People often say "life is short" but from experience this really isn't so. 70, 80, 90 odd years is a long time, but life has taught me on so may occasions that life can be taken away so suddenly.


I lost my mum 18 years ago. We didn't get on at all but it really broke me for a while, so i can't imagine what you're going through when you loved and cared for your mum so much and i'm so sorry for what you and your family are going through.


A bit patronising, but have a great big hug from me. x

#18 stanmarsh14



  • Gold Supporters
  • 3,108 posts

Posted 21 June 2018 - 05:39 pm


Service was done yesterday at Bramcote Crematorium, Nottingham.

Family from Wales, Middlesbrough and here in Long Eaton, along with some close friends in attendance, and even some faces I did not think would come, all in a rather civilised, non-religious send off.

The celebrant (In lieu of when you would expect a Minister etc), was amazing, even a few funnies thrown in, like getting my niece's age wrong, mum's some what dirty mind and that..... guess it helped that he had worked several jobs at the very same crem before, so knew the place very well.

To get to the point, the wake afterwards was done at The Bell Inn, Sawley (Short walk from Long Eaton Train Station, and quite close to my flat too), hosts being the Ian Lager (Manager), and Laura Beaty (Both long time friends of my sister's)..... guy's, you did a cracking job putting this on, making everyone feel welcome, despite accommodation being a bit tight..... Could not have asked for more.

Ian, pleasing to see, that even being a bit restricted what beers you can have on, you still managed to get the likes of Blue Monkey, Dancing Duck, and a few others on in your place, and the DD Aye Up was perfect.

Folks, if you are ever in the area, give this place a visit, you will find a selection for everyone (Yes I know, even Greene King), that will suit all tastes.


#19 hold the bells

hold the bells

    Junior Member

  • Gold Supporters
  • 18 posts

Posted 21 June 2018 - 07:25 pm

So Sorry for your loss Stan 

#20 stardust



  • Regulars
  • 612 posts

Posted 22 June 2018 - 08:11 pm

I'm glad all went well duck x

0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users