2 replies to this topic

[RB]

Are You an addict............Answer these questions fairly.....

1. You're in your local arcade one morning, when Paddy Mc.Phuck the local wino staggers in for a free coffee. An argument ensues and he ends up battering the attendant.
DO YOU;
A, be politely British and ignore it
B, discreetly call the police on your mobile.
C, slip in a few kicks to Scheisskopf's ribs for being sad enough to work in an arcade.
D, help him find his teeth afterwards whilst quietly relieving him of his change-bag.

2. You've just emptied a mab Bar-x and a granny touches your bare arm 'for luck' DO YOU;

A, smile politely and try to hide you erection.
B, ignore her.
C. put an 'out of order' sign on your machine and nip in to the bog for a quick rasp.
D, quietly wish she'd go home and catch her silver muff in her Stannard stairlift.

3. The arcade hanger around has just lost his fortnights Giro in your 'Great Escape', so thinks he can watch you for the rest of the day. DO YOU;

A. Ignore him but feel quietly sorry for him.
B, Knock his teeth out.
C. Tell him to foxtrot-oscar.
D. Start chatting to him and become his 'best buddy'

4. You've just made £150 in two hours, and you want to change it up. DO YOU;

A, call the attendant over and say "oi, c***chops I bet this is more than you earn in a month!"
B. Go and change it in the bank.
C, Go and lose it in 10 minutes in Ladbrokes.
D, Go and get pissed and have a few lines.


5. You've just streaked Monty Python when 'fat Flo with the b.o.' charges over and claims she was playing it but went for some change; DO YOU;

A. Diffuse the situation by asking her out and not turn up.
B. Tell her she needs to buy a new pair of black leggings instead of putting her income support in fruit machines.
C. Go red and slink off with your winnings.
D.Get beaten off by her halitosis and cede to her the machine.


6. You've got a hot date lined up, but you've just done your wages in a mazooma. DO YOU;

A. cancel it by feigning illness.
B. Turn up but blag her with a story about faulty cash-machines and say you'll pay next-time.
C. Admit you're a sad twat with no self-control and hope she'll feel pity for you.
D. Nick her purse in a busy pub and 'treat' her with the money whilst contriving sympathy.


7. You've got another date,and actually have some money. She nips to the bog for a piss and lipstick, so that seductively flashing RHA is now irresistible. She returns and sees you playing! DO YOU;

A. Say "I'll get more out of this than you, you ugly old coot"
B. Go red and stammer an excuse hoping she'll miss your obvious problem.
C. claim it's a bit of 'harmless fun' while you waited for her.
D. admit you are socially inadequate and relate more to machines than people.


8. You've now used up all your credit card limits, your overdrafts and spent your loans on fruities.DO YOU;

A. sell your valuables so you can win these thousands back!!(ha ha!)
B. feel sad and sick in the stomach and realise you need professional help/counselling.
C. just hang around and watch other people playing.
D. dream of knowing an mtr


9. You're just going into your local arcade when that 'gorgeous bird' at work catches your eye and sees you. On Monday, DO YOU;

A. claim you were dropping in on a pal that works there for a piss/coffee.
B. Boast that the arcade has paid for your G.T.I. in the car park(you know, the one owned by Lombard Finance)
C. Red-faced and embarrassed, avoid her for the next 2 weeks.
D. Admit that the place is your life and that you have no time for social interaction.


10. You've just done the pub Barboring for the £45 on a Friday night. The table nearby with the four befuddled slappers has noticed you, and commented on your fortune.DO YOU;

A. sit down with them, get a round in and chat the best one up.
B. ignore them, put your lemonade down and leave.
C. put it all back in, lose a bit more and have an early night as you're skint 'til next Friday.
D. Using your winnings, tag along with them to the local club and bugger 1/2/3/all4 of them senseless later.

Ripped from somewhere...all copyrights blah blah blah

[duplu]

Excellent, funniest thing I've read in ages.

[jay2]

Holy shit... i am more addicted than i thought.