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Old joke (it made me giggle)


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#2081 dachshund

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Posted 07 June 2020 - 12:33 AM

im really proud of my dad as he has just won dentist of the year.          you wanna see his plaque


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#2082 bri365

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Posted 07 June 2020 - 06:25 AM

Lady at work came up to me and said " Brian, there is a rumour going around that you have a massive willy!!!".

"I know" I replied, "it was me that started the rumour"


I took a nurse back to my place last night for sex. As I stripped off I said to her, "You must have seen a few dicks where you work. How do you rate mine?"

She said, "It's slightly bigger than most I see."

"Thanks," I said. "What sort of nursing do you do?"

"I'm a midwife!"


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#2083 bri365

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Posted 10 June 2020 - 11:25 PM

I was at the till in Asda today and all I had on the belt was 20 packets of Dreamies cat treats. Old lady behind me asked if I had a lot of cats? None I replied, it was for my dreamie diet although shouldn't really do it again as last time I was on the dreamie diet I lost 2 stone but ended up in intensive care for two weeks! She asked if it was food poisoning from the dreamies!.....No I replied, I was sat on the mantelpiece and fell off trying to lick my own arse and hit my head.......Never seen a woman faint before.


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#2084 bri365

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Posted 15 June 2020 - 09:48 PM

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#2085 bri365

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Posted 17 June 2020 - 10:19 PM

Bloke walks into a brothel and explains to the madam that he is into some real kinky stuff and asks "What's on offer"

"Well" said the madam, "we could offer you total humiliation for £100" she added.

"Sweet" replied the man, "What do I get for £100"? he asked

" An Arsenal shirt and season ticket" replied the madam.


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#2086 Max Cartwright

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Posted 18 June 2020 - 09:20 AM

Who can read this?

 

 

 

 

 

What's pink and fluffy?

Pink fluff.


┊┊┊╭╮╭╮┊┊┊┊┊┊┊

┊┊┊┃┃┃┃┊┊┊┊┊┊┊
┊┊┊┃┃┃┃┊┊┊╭ ━━ ╮
┊┊╭┛┗┛┗╮┊╭╯STAY┃
┊┊┃┈▆┈▆┃┊┃SAFE!  ┃
┊┊┃┈┈▅┈┃┊╰┳ ━━ ╯
┊┊┃┈╰┻╯┃━━╯┊┊┊
 
 

 


#2087 ricardo de ponsa

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Posted 18 June 2020 - 10:59 AM

OK Max...

 

What's brown and sticky ?

 

 

A stick.


Someone is typing at the moment .............................


#2088 Max Cartwright

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Posted 23 June 2020 - 08:20 AM

How do you know the clock thought post 2086 was funny?

 

It went back 4 seconds.


┊┊┊╭╮╭╮┊┊┊┊┊┊┊

┊┊┊┃┃┃┃┊┊┊┊┊┊┊
┊┊┊┃┃┃┃┊┊┊╭ ━━ ╮
┊┊╭┛┗┛┗╮┊╭╯STAY┃
┊┊┃┈▆┈▆┃┊┃SAFE!  ┃
┊┊┃┈┈▅┈┃┊╰┳ ━━ ╯
┊┊┃┈╰┻╯┃━━╯┊┊┊
 
 

 


#2089 bri365

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Posted 25 June 2020 - 09:13 PM

I was at my mates stag night last year, when he and his brother handed me a glass full of yellow, lukewarm liquid. "Drink it," they said giggling. It was only when I smelt it that I realised the prank the bastards were trying to pull... Carlsberg!


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#2090 bri365

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Posted 04 July 2020 - 05:41 AM

Today is International Orgasm Day...............Anybody coming.


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#2091 bri365

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Posted 05 July 2020 - 08:29 PM

My wife just found out i changed the bed for a trampoline...... She hit the roof


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