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stanmarsh14

Member Since 05 Aug 2003
Offline Last Active Sep 23 2018 07:33 pm
*****

#318768 Cherish your loved ones, for you never know when they will be gone

Posted by stanmarsh14 on 21 June 2018 - 05:39 pm

UPDATE....

Service was done yesterday at Bramcote Crematorium, Nottingham.

Family from Wales, Middlesbrough and here in Long Eaton, along with some close friends in attendance, and even some faces I did not think would come, all in a rather civilised, non-religious send off.

The celebrant (In lieu of when you would expect a Minister etc), was amazing, even a few funnies thrown in, like getting my niece's age wrong, mum's some what dirty mind and that..... guess it helped that he had worked several jobs at the very same crem before, so knew the place very well.
 

To get to the point, the wake afterwards was done at The Bell Inn, Sawley (Short walk from Long Eaton Train Station, and quite close to my flat too), hosts being the Ian Lager (Manager), and Laura Beaty (Both long time friends of my sister's)..... guy's, you did a cracking job putting this on, making everyone feel welcome, despite accommodation being a bit tight..... Could not have asked for more.

Ian, pleasing to see, that even being a bit restricted what beers you can have on, you still managed to get the likes of Blue Monkey, Dancing Duck, and a few others on in your place, and the DD Aye Up was perfect.

Folks, if you are ever in the area, give this place a visit, you will find a selection for everyone (Yes I know, even Greene King), that will suit all tastes.

http://www.thebellinnsawley.co.uk




#318478 Old joke (it made me giggle)

Posted by stanmarsh14 on 06 June 2018 - 07:06 am

Englishman: "That your dog?"
Welshman: "Yep."
Englishman: "Mind if I speak to him?"
Welshman: "Dog dont talk But."
Englishman: "Hey dog, how's it going?"
Dog: "Doin' all right."
Welshman: (Look of shock!)
Englishman: "Is this Welshman your owner?" (Pointing at the Welshman)
Dog: "Yep."
Englishman: "How's he treating you?"
Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the lake once a week to play."
Welshman: (Look of total disbelief)
Englishman: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"
Welshman: "Horse dont talk but."
Englishman: "Hey horse, how's it going?"
Horse: "Cool."
Welshman: (Extreme look of shock!)
Englishman: "Is this your owner?" (Pointing to the welshman)
Horse: "Yep."
Englishman: "How's he treating you?"
Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking, he rides me, brushes me down often and keeps me in a lean-to to protect me from the weather."
Welshman: (Look of total amazement)
Englishman: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"
Welshman: "That sheeps a f*****g liar bud!!"




#317950 Cherish your loved ones, for you never know when they will be gone

Posted by stanmarsh14 on 16 May 2018 - 07:33 am

Forgive the rather sombre tone folks, but think I best explain myself with regards to my comments on my Screen Play thread (MPU Mecca) and Facebook.

Monday morning, had to rush mum (Dawn) in to the QMC, Nottingham, with a suspect over dose.

Hell of a battle in A&E, moved to ICU, and by 7PM, we (Myself, sister, and other relations) unfortunately lost her.

Mental Health even to this day, is one of the great unknowns, and you ask yourself constantly, what could have I done to prevent this, even as her carer? Truth be told, not a clue.

All I can say as some general advice to all, is don't suffer in silence, talk to people, let the ones you most cherish and trust know you need help, and to those who can help, even a kind word for those in need can help..... sometimes amazing what this kind word can do to a person who's suffering.

At this point in time, I have absolutely no clue how to move on (Been her full-time carer for near on 20 years) or what to do next, but certainly for the next two weeks or so, not going to worry about it, though I am concerned as hell what to do with the cat, much as I love Chorlton to death, I live in a top floor flat, and next to no income for the foreseeable future.

​Mark




#317884 Old joke (it made me giggle)

Posted by stanmarsh14 on 13 May 2018 - 09:18 am

£20m to make a film about Maddie McCann..... the hell are they gonna call it, Home Alone: Lost in Portugal?




#317839 Old joke (it made me giggle)

Posted by stanmarsh14 on 10 May 2018 - 12:52 am

Don't you just love it when people knock on your door collecting for charity......Had one collecting for the local sperm bank last night..... So I gave her a right mouthful.




#317483 Old joke (it made me giggle)

Posted by stanmarsh14 on 22 April 2018 - 09:23 am

Here I sit, broken-hearted,
Paid ten pence but only farted.
Yesterday I took a chance,
Saved ten pennies but shat my pants.




#317357 Old joke (it made me giggle)

Posted by stanmarsh14 on 14 April 2018 - 08:50 am

Two gays guys in a car on the M1.

A truck shunts them from the back.

One of the passengers jumps out of the car, runs to the truckers door flings it open, hands on hips and shouts at the trucker , "I'm gonna sue your ass," trucker replies," Suck my dick."

He rushes back to car to his mate and says to his friend,"I've settled out of court!




#317327 Old joke (it made me giggle)

Posted by stanmarsh14 on 12 April 2018 - 02:08 pm

Some may not like this, but here goes.....

 

Yulia Skripal was discharged from hospital yesterday so I asked her out for a drink to take her mind off her recent ordeal.

 

Unfortunately she stormed out of the pub after less than a minute. Maybe "What's your poison?" Wasn't the best opening line!




#317302 {SYSTEM 1}Party Time Player

Posted by stanmarsh14 on 10 April 2018 - 10:56 pm

Ahhhhh, I know of a sit-down £5 version of this still in service today, in a place in Nottingham, and certainly on £5, plays quite a nice little game.

Many thanks.




#316506 RIP Sir Ken Dodd

Posted by stanmarsh14 on 12 March 2018 - 02:45 pm

Nice he married his bird 2 days before he snuffed it mind..... I bet he's laughing his arse off up there, knowing he's got one over the tax man yet again :D

RIP Diddy Man :(




#316400 Hows Alex?

Posted by stanmarsh14 on 04 March 2018 - 04:52 pm

Alex seams to be holding up ok with the chats I have had with him on Facebook, but obviously is taking time to sort himself out.




#316219 Dadsfme.co.uk sign-up issue

Posted by stanmarsh14 on 23 February 2018 - 04:01 pm

UPDATE: looks like there is an account registered, but never signed in to.

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#315545 eBay drops PayPal as first choice for payments

Posted by stanmarsh14 on 01 February 2018 - 09:02 pm

Interesting!

http://www.bbc.co.uk...siness-42905465




#314981 Old joke (it made me giggle)

Posted by stanmarsh14 on 17 January 2018 - 09:31 pm

Skinny little Irish man goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little Irish man staring at him, he looks down and says: '7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 3 pounds of testicles, Turner Brown.'

The little white Irish man faints and falls to the floor.

The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him.. The big guy says, 'What's wrong with you?'

In a weak voice the little guy says, 'What EXACTLY did you say to me?'

The big dude says, 'I saw your curious look and figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me...... I'm 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch penis, my testicles weigh 3 pounds each and my name is Turner Brown.'

The little white Irish man says: 'Turner Brown?! .... Sweet Jesus, I thought you said, 'Turn around!!!!




#314822 Old joke (it made me giggle)

Posted by stanmarsh14 on 14 January 2018 - 11:50 am

Last week: Nottingham Forest beat Arsenal.

This week: Nottingham railway station goes up in flames.

Today: Police interview 'ARSON' Wenger.