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Old joke (it made me giggle)


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#1801 stanmarsh14

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Posted 31 May 2018 - 11:04 pm

As it's 1st June (Blame Geddy for this)....

[11:46am] <@Hisao> !quote strawberry
[11:46am] <@sm14|lappy> "I went to the world strawberry picking championships today.... a woman with no legs won....... jammy cu nt !!!!! - Troutman - 03/09/2003 " {(mpu34 #287)} {(1 results)}



#1802 bri365

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Posted 03 June 2018 - 02:57 pm

The thing I love the most about this weather is the short skirts and low cut tops

Although they do make me look a bit camp.


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#1803 cashbox1

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Posted 06 June 2018 - 04:01 am

ladies,if your partner tells you he wants to kick your puppy,dont phone the RSPCA,he`s just crap at using predictive texting :D


heavy.......


#1804 stanmarsh14

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Posted 06 June 2018 - 07:06 am

Englishman: "That your dog?"
Welshman: "Yep."
Englishman: "Mind if I speak to him?"
Welshman: "Dog dont talk But."
Englishman: "Hey dog, how's it going?"
Dog: "Doin' all right."
Welshman: (Look of shock!)
Englishman: "Is this Welshman your owner?" (Pointing at the Welshman)
Dog: "Yep."
Englishman: "How's he treating you?"
Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the lake once a week to play."
Welshman: (Look of total disbelief)
Englishman: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"
Welshman: "Horse dont talk but."
Englishman: "Hey horse, how's it going?"
Horse: "Cool."
Welshman: (Extreme look of shock!)
Englishman: "Is this your owner?" (Pointing to the welshman)
Horse: "Yep."
Englishman: "How's he treating you?"
Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking, he rides me, brushes me down often and keeps me in a lean-to to protect me from the weather."
Welshman: (Look of total amazement)
Englishman: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"
Welshman: "That sheeps a f*****g liar bud!!"



#1805 bri365

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Posted 06 June 2018 - 09:24 pm

A big cat escaped from a zoo yesterday. If i came across it i'd definitely Puma pants!


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#1806 bri365

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Posted 07 June 2018 - 04:16 pm

Indian lady collapsed in the street today and everyone was worried she was dead. I pointed to the red dot on her head and told them she was on standby.


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#1807 bri365

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Posted 10 June 2018 - 08:45 pm

My town just had its annual incest competition, I entered my sister.


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#1808 bri365

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Posted 15 June 2018 - 07:43 am

I went to view a house on a Native American reservation

"I like it" I said. "Does it come with running water?"

"No way" He replied. "Get your own wife !!!”....


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#1809 stardust

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Posted 23 June 2018 - 03:04 pm

A Scottish woman walks into her bedroom and catches her husband $&%#ing into a wellie...

"Och aye Jock" she yells - "you dirty barsted... stop fooking aboot"!!  :err:


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#1810 stardust

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Posted 30 June 2018 - 10:05 pm

Made me smile... :)

Attached File  6DF1B284-0E44-46D8-ABF4-22C8D6F5CC7E.jpeg   59.73KB   1 downloads

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My Facebook <-- because I'm always there...                                                                                                                                                         My website <-- take a ganders! :D

 

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

...and now - the revamped and updated:

 

Fruit-Emu on Facebook

 

Exactly how I meant the page to be when I created it all those years ago...

with thanks to Alex (aaamusements).

 

 

  • Updated with all the latest that is happening here at Fruit Emu; 
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#1811 stardust

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Posted 01 July 2018 - 08:33 pm

Well, we mustn't be too morbid in life, must we?!  :err: 

 

Attached File  46585fbc3bd9273.jpg   120.29KB   0 downloads


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___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

...and now - the revamped and updated:

 

Fruit-Emu on Facebook

 

Exactly how I meant the page to be when I created it all those years ago...

with thanks to Alex (aaamusements).

 

 

  • Updated with all the latest that is happening here at Fruit Emu; 
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#1812 dachshund

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Posted 06 July 2018 - 06:08 am

My mobile is doing my head in. I keep getting unwanted football updates. 1 min it's the latest news the next it's scores.

This blummin phone
This blummin phone.......

The Yorkie bars are not on me


#1813 bri365

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Posted 08 July 2018 - 05:08 am

What do you get when you mix Goat DNA and Human DNA????

Banned from the petting zoo and a criminal record.


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#1814 bri365

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Posted 13 July 2018 - 09:02 pm

Waitress asks a gentleman "are you ready to order sir?".

"just waiting for the wife" he replied "she's gone to the toilet"

"oh do you know what's she's having" she enquired.

"Probably a shit from the amount of time she's been in there" he said.


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#1815 stardust

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Posted 19 July 2018 - 09:34 pm

Guilty!  :bigeyes19:

 

Attached File  54cedfebc2d8988a60cee6ead42430ce.jpg   72.26KB   0 downloads


Welcome to the world

 of Daryl... ;)

 

My Facebook <-- because I'm always there...                                                                                                                                                         My website <-- take a ganders! :D

 

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

...and now - the revamped and updated:

 

Fruit-Emu on Facebook

 

Exactly how I meant the page to be when I created it all those years ago...

with thanks to Alex (aaamusements).

 

 

  • Updated with all the latest that is happening here at Fruit Emu; 
  • Encouraging new members to join up and take part in the fun here at the Fruit-Emu forums;
  • Any problems? Give a shout to us - we'll try and answer you as soon as possible or direct you to Fruit-Emu forums help...

 

Pop over if you have a Facebook account...

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#1816 cashbox1

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Posted 20 July 2018 - 10:12 am

Attached File  r4.jpg   136.71KB   0 downloads


heavy.......


#1817 stanmarsh14

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Posted 24 July 2018 - 04:39 pm

Roses are red-ish, 
violets are blue-ish, 
if you don't have a foreskin 
you're probably jew-ish



#1818 stardust

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Posted 26 August 2018 - 02:40 pm

Archaeologists have found a new tomb in Egypt, with a mummy wrapped up in it with chocolates and hazelnuts placed on top of the body...

 

They believe it to be the long-lost "Pharaoh Rocher"...


Welcome to the world

 of Daryl... ;)

 

My Facebook <-- because I'm always there...                                                                                                                                                         My website <-- take a ganders! :D

 

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

...and now - the revamped and updated:

 

Fruit-Emu on Facebook

 

Exactly how I meant the page to be when I created it all those years ago...

with thanks to Alex (aaamusements).

 

 

  • Updated with all the latest that is happening here at Fruit Emu; 
  • Encouraging new members to join up and take part in the fun here at the Fruit-Emu forums;
  • Any problems? Give a shout to us - we'll try and answer you as soon as possible or direct you to Fruit-Emu forums help...

 

Pop over if you have a Facebook account...

and support us there on our community page!


#1819 bri365

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Posted 26 August 2018 - 09:04 pm

My Granddad has been told by his Doctor that he needs to take Viagra everyday for the rest of his life.................He's okay about it but Nan's taking it hard.


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#1820 unclechicken

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Posted 27 August 2018 - 02:15 am

I shagged my wife over the freezer last week, got banned from Iceland for life.






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