1808 replies to this topic

[stanmarsh14]

As it's 1st June (Blame Geddy for this)....

[11:46am] <@Hisao> !quote strawberry
[11:46am] <@sm14|lappy> "I went to the world strawberry picking championships today.... a woman with no legs won....... jammy cu nt !!!!! - Troutman - 03/09/2003 " {(mpu34 #287)} {(1 results)}

[bri365]

The thing I love the most about this weather is the short skirts and low cut tops

Although they do make me look a bit camp.

[cashbox1]

ladies,if your partner tells you he wants to kick your puppy,dont phone the RSPCA,he`s just crap at using predictive texting

[stanmarsh14]

Englishman: "That your dog?"
Welshman: "Yep."
Englishman: "Mind if I speak to him?"
Welshman: "Dog dont talk But."
Englishman: "Hey dog, how's it going?"
Dog: "Doin' all right."
Welshman: (Look of shock!)
Englishman: "Is this Welshman your owner?" (Pointing at the Welshman)
Dog: "Yep."
Englishman: "How's he treating you?"
Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the lake once a week to play."
Welshman: (Look of total disbelief)
Englishman: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"
Welshman: "Horse dont talk but."
Englishman: "Hey horse, how's it going?"
Horse: "Cool."
Welshman: (Extreme look of shock!)
Englishman: "Is this your owner?" (Pointing to the welshman)
Horse: "Yep."
Englishman: "How's he treating you?"
Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking, he rides me, brushes me down often and keeps me in a lean-to to protect me from the weather."
Welshman: (Look of total amazement)
Englishman: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"
Welshman: "That sheeps a f*****g liar bud!!"

[bri365]

A big cat escaped from a zoo yesterday. If i came across it i'd definitely Puma pants!

[bri365]

Indian lady collapsed in the street today and everyone was worried she was dead. I pointed to the red dot on her head and told them she was on standby.

[bri365]

My town just had its annual incest competition, I entered my sister.

[bri365]

I went to view a house on a Native American reservation

"I like it" I said. "Does it come with running water?"

"No way" He replied. "Get your own wife !!!”....

[stardust]

A Scottish woman walks into her bedroom and catches her husband $&%#ing into a wellie...

"Och aye Jock" she yells - "you dirty barsted... stop fooking aboot"!!