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Old joke (it made me giggle)

This is a discussion on Old joke (it made me giggle) within the Any Topic Chat forums, part of the Discussion Forums category; September 30 - three quarters of the way there!! ----------------------------------------------- A life insurance agent says to a prospective client: "Don't ...


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Old 30-09-2008, 07:27 PM   #861 (permalink)
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September 30 - three quarters of the way there!!
-----------------------------------------------

A life insurance agent says to a prospective client:

"Don't let me frighten you into a decision. Sleep on it tonight. If you wake up in the morning, then give me a call to let me know."
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Old 01-10-2008, 07:24 PM   #862 (permalink)
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A vicar books into a hotel and says to the hotel clerk"I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled".
She replies"No sir,its just regular porn,you sick bas***d".
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Old 01-10-2008, 07:35 PM   #863 (permalink)
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October 1
---------

A sign at a concierge's desk in Athens:

If you consider our help impolite, you should see the manager.
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Old 02-10-2008, 08:06 PM   #864 (permalink)
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October 2
---------

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't.
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Old 02-10-2008, 08:59 PM   #865 (permalink)
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Talking

No offence intended to our Chinese members,(just thought it was funny),

A man hires a Chinese Private investigator,Chen Lee,to watch his wife.
A few days later he gets this report:

Most Hon Sir.
I watch house.
You leave house.
He came to house.
He and she leave house.
I follow.
He and she go to Hotel.
I climb tree and look in window.
He kiss she.
She kiss he.
He strip.
She strip.
He play with she.
She play with he.
I play with me.
I fall out tree.
I not see.
No fee.
Chen lee.
Weely Sollee.
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Old 03-10-2008, 08:45 PM   #866 (permalink)
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October 3
---------

How many apples can you put in an empy box?

One.

After that it's not empty any more.
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Old 04-10-2008, 10:14 PM   #867 (permalink)
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October 4
---------

Explanations from insurance claims:

"I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way."



"I told the police I wasn't injured, but on removing my hat, I found that I had a fractured skull."
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Old 04-10-2008, 10:47 PM   #868 (permalink)
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Two chav mums on a bus.One says "Is ya baby teevin yet?".
The other replies"Yes,so far he got me two dvds,a mobile phone and a laptop".
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Old 05-10-2008, 12:03 AM   #869 (permalink)
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One Sunday morning, everyone in one bright, beautiful, tiny town got up early and went to the local church.

Before the services started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews and talking about their lives, their families, etc. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.

Soon everyone was evacuated from the church, except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew, not moving... seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence. Now this confused Satan a bit, so he walked up to the man and said, "Don't you know who I am?"

The man replied, "Yep, sure do."

Satan asked, "Aren't you afraid of me?"

"Nope, sure ain't," said the man.

Satan was a little perturbed at this and queried, "Why aren't you afraid of me?"

The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for over 48 years."
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Your eyes are weary from staring at the CRT. You feel sleepy. Notice how restful it is to watch the cursor blink. Close your eyes. The opinions stated above are yours. You cannot imagine why you ever felt otherwise.
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Old 05-10-2008, 07:57 PM   #870 (permalink)
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October 5
---------

Funny newspaper headlines:

New vaccine may contain rabies


Man struck by lightning faces battery charge
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