Old joke (it made me giggle)

[Dr DX]

Originally Posted by altharic

The Chinese sports minister is being interviewed and mentions the success they are having at the olympics, the Lancashire Evening Post journalist asks if there is a sport that the Chinese aint good at the minister replies Cockeling in Morecambe bay...........

lol classic, liked that one

[altharic]

A scouse mate of mine at work mentioned another today.............swimming.

[mazooma]

August 20
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A psychiatrist walked up to her receptionist one busy morning and said, "Sarah, I appreciate you taking phone messages, but please don't say it's a madhouse. Just tell people we're busy."

[mazooma]

August 21
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Tom, Dick, and Harry die in a car crash at Christmas. At the pearly gates, St. Peter says they each need something "Christmassy" to be allowed in. Tom finds some needles from his Christmas tree, and Dick has a ribbon from a present. They go in. Then Harry pulls out some lacy underpants.

St. Peter looks confused, but Harry explains, "They're Carol's"

[RB]

The first sign that you are getting old is when you enter an antique store and immediatley say " I remember these"....

[mazooma]

August 22 TGIF
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Two cannibals are eating dinner. One says, "I don't like my mother-in-law much."

The other replies, "Well just eat you vegetables then!"

[raverpat]

Got a new car stereo - its voice activated.
I shout 'Country', it plays Dolly Parton.
I shout 'Rock n Roll', it plays Guns n Roses.
Was driving through town the other day and some little shits ran out in front of me.
I shouted 'Fucking Kids', and it played Gary Glitter!

[PJ]

Hope you're eating while reading this...


A tramp walks into a pub and asks for a toothpick. The barman sees no harm in this and so gives him a toothpick. The tramp then leaves the pub.

A couple of minutes later another tramp enters the bar and asks for a toothpick. The barman obliges and the tramp goes on his way.

The same thing happens three more times in the next 10 minutes. The barman is perplexed. Another tramp walks in, this time asking for a straw.

The confused barman's curiosity finally gets the better of him, so he asks "for the last quarter of an hour, tramps have been coming in asking me for toothpicks, then you come in asking for a straw - why?"

The tramp replies "Well, one of your punters threw up outside, but all the chunky bits have been had."


(and you thought alth was sick...)

[mazooma]

August 23
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What's the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector?

A taxidermist only takes your skin.

[mazooma]

August 24
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A psychiatrist visits a patient in hospital. "Now tell me," she says. "How do you now you are Napoleon?"

"God told me I am," replied the patient.

The man in the next bed looks across and frowns. "No I didn't!"