Old joke (it made me giggle)

[stevie300online]

Bloke comes home from work one day and says to his wife;

"Tomorrow, you me and the dog are going fishing"

"But I don't want to go fishing" replies the wife

"Well tomorrow, you me and the dog are going fishing " insisits the husband

"But I don't want to go fishing" replies the wife again

"OK, if you don't want to go fishing, either give me a blowjob or let me f**k you up the ass" says her husband

The wife thinks about this for a few minutes and although she doesn't want to do either, she also doesn't want to go fishing. "Very well" she replies, "I'll give you a blowjob then"

Within seconds of starting the deed she exclaims "Oh god that's disgusting, your dick tastes of shit"

"Yeah I know" replies her husband with a simle, "the dog didn't want to go fishing either"


Now that's a joke!! :P

[RB]

A skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE African American guy standing next to him. The big guys sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says:
"7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 14 inch penis, 1 pound left testicle, 1 pound right testicle,...Turner Brown."

The small man faints dead away and falls to the floor. The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him. The big fellow says, "What's wrong with you?" In a weak voice the little guys says, "What EXACTLY did you say to me?"

The big dude says, "I saw the curious look and figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me. I'm 7 feet tall, I weight 350 pounds, I have a 14 inch penis, my left testicle weighs 1 pounds, my right testicle weighs 1 pounds and my name is Turner Brown."

The small guy says, "Turner Brown?
Thank God! I thought you said "Turn around."

[PJ]

Nothing quite like a racially offensive 'joke' to kill a thread, eh, stevedude2?... :roll:


Let's see if I can revive it with the best joke I've read in flippin' years...


It has recently come to the attention of the Yorkshire police that local ravers are using a new method for taking Ecstasy, which involves injecting the drug directly into the mouth by means of a dental syringe, and therefore more quickly into the bloodstream.

This new method has been named 'E-by-gum'...

[adydb]

A totally smashed drunk was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk."

The guy asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?"

"Yeah, mate, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."

Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled."

[stevedude2]

Yeah, sorry PJ...

Anyway, here's one for ya...

What's red and invisible?












No tomatoes

[uya]

I've got this feeling of de' ja vu, and bread and cheese aint no pizza!

[RB]

The creation of a Pussy

Seven wise men with knowledge so fine,
created a pussy to their own design.
First was a butcher, smart with wit,
using a knive, he gave it a slit.
Second was a carpenter, strong and bold,
with a hammer and chisel, he gave it a hole.
Third was a tailor, tall and thin,
by using red velvet, he lined it within.
Fourth was a hunter, short and stout,
with a piece of fox fur, he lined it without.
Fith was a fisherman, nasty as hell,
threw in a fish and gave it a smell.
Sixth was a preacher whose name was McGee,
Touched it and blessed it and said it could pee.
Last came a sailor, dirty little runt,
he sucked it and fucked it and called it a ****. ops: ops:

[todd1970]

There are 2 cows standing in a field...how do you know which one is on holiday...?

The one with the wee calf

[Gazeyre1966]

After the Tsunami disaster in Asia, God sent Osama Bin Laden a text message.

"Top that, you arab c**t". :P

[PJ]

I heard that Osama was planning to start a cookery programme on Al-Jazeera - well, the exact words were that he would show his whole country how to make a Big Apple crumble...